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Small talk by ~venturus:iconventurus:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Tapping the baton of her teaspoon
twice on the saucer, a bright start,
'You've dropped out,' says his mother.
Her vision of a career in White Hall
disappointed by his small charity job
and arts trifles, not one to acknowledge
the legislative clout of poets. She's
a resurrectionist, keen to deliver him
to Society's scalpel, 'What's wrong?'
through the light percussion of cutlery,
mobile phone calls, and monotone
hum, which he hears as Om.
©2007-2009 ~venturus
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Submitted: July 12, 2007
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Comments: 56
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Author's Comments

Submission for July's Guardian Poetry Workshop
Daily Deviation, 2008-05-13

Daily DeviationSmall talk is an excellent "listening poem" -- a poem that pays careful attention to sound. Enjoy *venturus's exquisitely crafted poem about a mother's disappointment in her son. (Featured by `lovetodeviate)

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Comments


`lovetodeviate:iconlovetodeviate: Jul 13, 2007, 6:12:47 AM
This is lovely. I tried the workshop by Fiona Sampson--could barely understand what she was talking about, but I can see how you've played with sound in this.

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Literature Gallery Moderator

For Writers: Resource Central: Part One | Resource Central: Part Two
*diamondie:icondiamondie: Jul 15, 2007, 12:56:14 AM
The diction seems a bit different from your usual poetry, but it works great, that's for sure. I like the second sentence in particular, it seems very formal and complex yet fits in wonderfully. At first I didn't like the ending all that much, but it's growing on me. Still something about "through the bright orchestra / of cutlery chinks" doesn't sound as good as the rest to me, maybe I'm just missing something.
~venturus:iconventurus: Jul 17, 2007, 5:50:44 AM
hello ltd, thanks for the comment and the fave, good luck with the workshop. :)

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Fuselit
Mimesis
~venturus:iconventurus: Jul 17, 2007, 5:51:16 AM
hello diamondie, thanks for commenting!

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Fuselit
Mimesis
~365-leap:icon365-leap: Jul 18, 2007, 4:10:35 AM
I've met fiona sampson. funny lady.

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Pote is to poet as pome is to poem.
`lovetodeviate:iconlovetodeviate: Jul 18, 2007, 5:17:40 AM
Haha. Where did you meet her? And what did she do that's funny?

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For Writers: Resource Central: Part One | Resource Central: Part Two
~365-leap:icon365-leap: Jul 18, 2007, 5:30:56 AM
at a poetry reading ages ago. I didn't really talk to her that much, but she seemed nice.

poets are just funny.

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Pote is to poet as pome is to poem.
`lovetodeviate:iconlovetodeviate: Jul 18, 2007, 6:11:11 AM
Heh, that is true.

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Literature Gallery Moderator

For Writers: Resource Central: Part One | Resource Central: Part Two
~Bryianzum:iconBryianzum: Aug 12, 2007, 1:00:51 PM
Another perfect moment captured by your pen, or, as the case may be, keyboard. Your ability to retain the significance of these moments would make you an excellent screenwriter or director if you could work them into an experimental framework of truthful, significant moments that represent the minimalist meaning of modern life. Sorry it took me a month to comment, I haven't felt particularly creative, and I refuse to offer criticism and comments when I'm in such a mood.

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Confusion.
Surrealism.
Love.
~venturus:iconventurus: Aug 15, 2007, 3:29:12 AM
hello Brian, good to hear from you. creative 'silences' can be transitional phases when we're preparing to move 'up' a level, and i hope it proves so for you. :)

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Fuselit
Mimesis
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