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Submitted on
April 29, 2005
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I've told you I'm staying in tonight,
you, as usual, haven't listened.
Negligent out of pain, perhaps –
a thorn lifted off some nightmare
flower. You ask me to remove it,
have tried a shower. I'm thinking
if the water can't free it, how will I?
Besides, I've seen a bird, which,
as it starts to trill, suggests were I
such a thing, I'd rather be dumb.
Still, my not singing like a bird,
does it mean you can't call me one?
Again, you're not listening. And
it's flown off now into that gloom
where everything feels heavier,
but I don't suppose is. It presses
like the sloping walls of a Gallic
town, spied from an odd angle.
edited. the original version was published in Aesthetica.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2005-05-17
Blackbird by =venturus

Simplistic language and complex meanings, familiar patterns and odd subversions, old images with new twists: =venturus fills his poetry with all of these. Blackbird is well worth a look. ( Suggested by demonlight and Featured by ndifference )
:iconmeinesehnsucht:
MeineSehnsucht Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012   Writer
Have I told you before I think this is quite Leonard Cohen-esque? But that's a compliment anyway.
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:iconventurus:
venturus Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012   Writer
thanks Maart, always interesting to hear what connections people make, someone else said it reminded them of Catcher in the Rye.
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:iconmusicobsessed:
musicobsessed Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2005
The line breaks are perfect. If I were write in this manner, I would ramble and would not sound poetic at all. The ending image is just beautiful.
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:iconventurus:
venturus Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2005   Writer
hello musicobsessed! thanks for the comments and fave! :)
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:iconestapordamiuda:
estapordamiuda Featured By Owner May 18, 2005
I loved how you entwined the two perception levels.
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:iconventurus:
venturus Featured By Owner May 18, 2005   Writer
thank you! :)
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:icontdub87:
Tdub87 Featured By Owner May 17, 2005
Very nice. everyone has love no matter what it is, its in somethin Think about your art and smile
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:iconventurus:
venturus Featured By Owner May 18, 2005   Writer
:)
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:iconpoppyluke:
poppyluke Featured By Owner May 17, 2005   Photographer
Let me know if there's anything else I can read for you. I promise to bow out of any unneeded comments directed toward me on your page in the future.
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:iconinsanexflame:
insanexflame Featured By Owner May 17, 2005
is this not precisely how brilliant ideas light on us - in random musings and run-on thoughts! the conversational, stream of consciousness tone is a perfect way to express deep ideas in a new and striking manner.
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