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:iconventurus: More from venturus

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DD's of 2005 by krissimonsta

DD's I Featured by ndifference

Palavras by anarella

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Submitted on
April 29, 2005
File Size
816 bytes


52 (who?)
I've told you I'm staying in tonight,
you, as usual, haven't listened.
Negligent out of pain, perhaps –
a thorn lifted off some nightmare
flower. You ask me to remove it,
have tried a shower. I'm thinking
if the water can't free it, how will I?
Besides, I've seen a bird, which,
as it starts to trill, suggests were I
such a thing, I'd rather be dumb.
Still, my not singing like a bird,
does it mean you can't call me one?
Again, you're not listening. And
it's flown off now into that gloom
where everything feels heavier,
but I don't suppose is. It presses
like the sloping walls of a Gallic
town, spied from an odd angle.
edited. the original version was published in Aesthetica.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2005-05-17
Blackbird by =venturus

Simplistic language and complex meanings, familiar patterns and odd subversions, old images with new twists: =venturus fills his poetry with all of these. Blackbird is well worth a look. ( Suggested by demonlight and Featured by ndifference )
MeineSehnsucht Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012   Writer
Have I told you before I think this is quite Leonard Cohen-esque? But that's a compliment anyway.
venturus Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012   Writer
thanks Maart, always interesting to hear what connections people make, someone else said it reminded them of Catcher in the Rye.
musicobsessed Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2005
The line breaks are perfect. If I were write in this manner, I would ramble and would not sound poetic at all. The ending image is just beautiful.
venturus Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2005   Writer
hello musicobsessed! thanks for the comments and fave! :)
estapordamiuda Featured By Owner May 18, 2005
I loved how you entwined the two perception levels.
venturus Featured By Owner May 18, 2005   Writer
thank you! :)
Tdub87 Featured By Owner May 17, 2005
Very nice. everyone has love no matter what it is, its in somethin Think about your art and smile
venturus Featured By Owner May 18, 2005   Writer
poppyluke Featured By Owner May 17, 2005   Photographer
Let me know if there's anything else I can read for you. I promise to bow out of any unneeded comments directed toward me on your page in the future.
insanexflame Featured By Owner May 17, 2005
is this not precisely how brilliant ideas light on us - in random musings and run-on thoughts! the conversational, stream of consciousness tone is a perfect way to express deep ideas in a new and striking manner.
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